I pride myself on being a hype queen. It is of great importance to me that others are recognized for the qualities that make them so wonderful. I will never not praise the positive attributes someone possesses. I want everyone to always be aware they are loveable and important. Yet when anyone does the same for me, it's wildly difficult for me to believe.

Not to get into all my emotional baggage (don't we all have some?), but I often find myself unable to muster any self love. I play a lot of fake it till you make it. I mean, so much so that sometimes or often I come off very self centered. Clearly I need to change my methods. Accepting all therapist suggestions for sure. But because of that I figure I must be unlovable to others.

Randomly just days ago I ran across a facebook post that knocked the wind out of me :

Stop! Telling! People! That! No! One! Will! Love! Them! Until! They! Love! Themselves! Stop! Planting! The! Idea! In! People's! Heads! That! They! Are! Unworthy! Of! Love! Because! Of! Their! Own! Struggle!

And the comment section. People struggling with trauma just like me who were reacting to this revelation that maybe we've been listening to the wrong words of "wisdom" all these years. My heart breaking that any of them would feel unworthy of love and wanting more than anything to change it, and realizing that I don't grant myself the same grace.

It was a very small step in reframing my internal monologue. While I'm not a therapist nor am I terribly eloquent, I do know that I'm not alone and maybe sharing this will help someone else change their internal monologue for the better. We all deserve love.

 

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