The Battle of the Bulge Approaching 40

I have a very strange relationship with my body. Perhaps most women do, but the battle is really getting real as I approach 40.

My body image issues started as I approached puberty. I have naturally large hips and I immediately noticed the change. My Mom would make comments like, don't worry, you'll be grateful for those hips when you have babies someday.

I battled an eating disorder from the time I was 12 until I was 19. I was so confused because although I have always been petite (I'm 5'2" and have weighed under 100 lbs until now.) I have curvier than normal hips.

My now boyfriend brought this up to me and although sometimes he acts like he likes my curves, he's also encouraged me to work on my hips as he's watched insecurity rise. (Also, try taking your clothes off in front of someone after 15 years of marriage. It conjures up all the insecurities!)

I turned 39 over the weekend and during the past year I have put on 10 lbs. As a petite woman, this is significant and it's left me feeling awful about myself.

I go back and forth from just wanting to be chubby and happy to wanting to do something about it.

I'm horrible at dieting these days and I have horrible stamina when it comes to working out.

I guess my point is I'm trying to make peace with my body during this new phase of life and I'm wondering if any of you have traveled this same road.

Please leave your thoughts on body image after 40 below.