Respect for My Ex

My ex-husband is one of my best friends. I have a ton of respect for him and how he has handled my imperfections. Along the rough road of divorce I've learned a lot of lessons and this is some of what I have learned. 

I can't go back. My marriage didn't work for several reasons, but we both had to move forward. In a continual effort to push through I have decided to start anew with my ex. I can't be a great wife to him anymore, but that doesn't mean that I can't be a great ex.

Ben Affleck has been speaking out about his divorce with Jennifer Garner and I share a lot of his same feelings towards my ex-husband. Affleck says

When you have children with someone, you are connected to them forever.

How true that is. I talk to my ex-husband nearly every day and even when the kids are grown I know he will be a part of my life as we celebrate the arrival of grandchildren, weddings, and birthday parties. We all make the choice to be angry and bitter and I don't want any of that in my life.

Ben Affleck goes on to tell People magazine in an article featured on MSN.com that

“Our marriage didn’t work, and that’s difficult. Both of us really believe that it’s important for kids to see their parents respect one another and get along, whether they’re together or not.”

Affleck has also called his divorce from Garner

The biggest regret of my life.

I understand regret. I've had it too. Things I wish I would have done differently, things I wish I would have known before I wed, things I wish I would not have said or done, but shaming myself for not having the tools to have a good relationship doesn't do me or my kids or my ex any good.

What I choose to do is to learn from my mistakes and I have a goal to have an exceptional relationship in the future. I have a "boyfriend" for the first time since my divorce and already I am learning that although the grass is not always greener on the other side, we communicate much better, don't hold grudges about things we shouldn't, and we set up boundaries and expectations.

My ex-husband sent me the nicest text message yesterday telling me he has my back regarding my new relationship and navigating that with the kids. He shows me mutual respect back, and I couldn't be more grateful.

If you have been through the painful process of divorce, no matter the circumstances, I hope that you will choose forgiveness and start anew. It's the biggest gift you can give yourself, your ex, children if you have them together, and your entire family.