I Love Me Some Idiots, And These Are The Biggest…Congrats To The Darwin Award Winners From 2013

It's that time once again for the Darwin Awards....One of my favorite awards of the year, that bestows honor to those idiots among us that truly are too stupid to live...because to actually win the top honor, you have to have eliminated yourself from the gene pool, to make sure you don't breed any more idiots

First The Honorable Mentions:

   The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef’s claim was approved.

      After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.

       A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer… $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit....(WOW, this kid was only inches away from possibly being chosen this years winner...but sadly, he is still alive)

      A man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn’t open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren’t available for breakfast… The frustrated gunman walked away. (Again, WOW, stupid and now hungry)

      An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit....(WOW, this kid was only inches away from possibly being chosen this years winner...but sadly, he is still alive)

.....And that brings us to 2013's glorious winner....drum roll please!

 Here Is The Glorious Winner:

        When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

 (winner winner, chicken dinner)  To hear more great stories from Idiots who are too stupid to live....listen for Monday Morning Morons, with Mike and Kate Monday's in the 9am hour