Sex-Crazed Swingers or People Who Just Love Pineapples? [exclusive expose]
Two months ago, a co-worker enlightened me with Hidden Springs' rumored penchant for spouse-swapping sexcapades. Instantly, the storylines of every Harlequin romance novel ever published impregnated my imagination.
Clutching a ripe pineapple in one hand and a box of red wine in the other, there was something sensual about the thirty-something blonde. As she waited in the checkout line at the General Store, the way her Patagonia fanny pack gripped her hips drew me in. From one moment to the next, she began swaying to the rhythmic fodder of a Hall & Oates song, intensifying my interest. Was she married? I was dying to know. That's when the two-carat rock on her left hand caught the sun and my eye. She's married. So am I. But this is Hidden Springs, and I turned to say, "hello."
—my imagination influenced by trashy '90s romance novels
You can picture it, can't you?
A 15-minute ride down Beacon Light from my eight-year home in Star, Hidden Springs is a picturesque community nestled in the Boise Foothills. And while the master-planned community with more than 1,000 homes seems like any other Treasure Valley city, locals say it's anything but. The hushed word on the streets is Hidden Springs, commonly referred to as "Hidden Swings," is a bastion of sex-crazed, pineapple-glazed married couples that abandoned monogamy for orgies. As certain as a woman who just downed a bottle of wine is of her dance skills, locals are sure the Hidden Springs rumors are true.
I was confronted by a proverbial fork in the road: the search for hidden truth and my desperation to avoid rush hour from Boise to Star. Traffic be damned. With my daughter in tow, I jumped in my Camry, and away we went to Hidden Springs. For the record, my nine-year-old was under the impression that we were on a scavenger hunt for pineapple décor and lawn gnomes. Three hours and a four-mile walk later, our reconnaissance mission was a bust. Hot and hungry, we were ready to lick our snow cones we bought from a pop-up tent manned by two kids on Main Street and hit the road home.
Then a chance encounter with a local business owner changed everything. Throwing caution to the wind, I told the LBO about mine and my daughter's "scavenger hunt." Laughing out loud, she commended me for my candor and told me I'd come to the right place. An hour later, the LBO had answered all of my burning questions.
Hidden Springs or Hidden Swings? The CliffsNotes
The nearly 20-year resident and monogamously married LBO, who wished to remain anonymous, confirmed the veracity of roughly 80% of the wild rumors. The Hidden Springs community from 15 to 20 years ago did have a core group of swingers. It was an open secret that the sexclusive groupies enjoyed fish bowl key lotteries, spouse-swaps, and rolls in the hay at barnyard orgies amongst themselves. The LBO even shared a story about a friend's son who was asked to look after a group of young children at a ranch house while the parents "partied" in the barn.
For all intents and purposes, Hidden Springs of yesteryear was a swinger's paradise. Whether you agree or disagree with their take on marriage, fidelity, and monogamy, the LBO made a point to say the swingers were never a nuisance to the community. When swingers greeted non-swingers with open solicitations for sex, they respectfully took "no" for an answer. More than anything, their wild sexcapades made for great local comedy.
Before long, neighbors took to decorating their homes with pineapple prints. Local businesses adorned their windows with the swingers' fruit of choice. In jest, a local soft ball team called themselves "The Hidden Swings." In truth, the majority of monogamously married couples of then and now appreciate the long-lived scandal for the comedic relief it delivers. As for what happened to the OG swingers of Hidden Springs, the LBO reported the majority of those marriages ended in expensive divorces, and most have moved away. The swingers that remain are relatively quiet with little or no interest in pineapples or fanfare.