My Family’s Values Over My Own
I'm in a sticky situation and I don't know what to do. I want to respect my family, but I also want to respect myself and my own beliefs. What would you do if you were in this situation?
Here's the deal. I grew up "Mormon" in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I got married in an LDS temple. I lived that life for 30+ years, but truthfully it never brought me the happiness it promised. I know that it brings my family a lot of peace and happiness but even as a child I rebelled against it in my heart.
Today, I am a divorced mother of two and I am in a real relationship for the first time in nearly 3 years.
I know even going through a divorce was really hard on my parents. My leaving the church was equally disappointing to them. I come from a background where I constantly disappointed them growing up so it's been easy to feel like one big epic fail.
My parents live 9 hours away in Southern Utah so it's been a little easier these days to live my own life with my own standards but we talk often and remain close.
Here's where things get really messy.
My boyfriend is moving in with me from out-of-state in a week and a half. Part of his living with me is circumstantial and some of it is because we are in a relationship and want to be together.
My Mom, sister, and her three kids are coming to visit me the week after he gets here. This is a trip that they have been planning for a long time and they haven't been to visit me in ages.
I want them to stay with me and feel welcome, but they can't do that if my boyfriend comes walking out of my bedroom in the morning because of their strong beliefs.
Working the early hours that I do, he would be at the house with them alone and he's not comfortable with that.
My kids are also Mormon and it's been hard telling them that he's going to live with us and be in my bedroom.
The solution? We agreed to get him a hotel for the week while they are in town so that neither party is uncomfortable.
Friends around me have told me this is ridiculous and I should proudly live my life. I've been told that they are judging me and disrespecting me by not accepting the way I live my life in my home, but there is still that little girl inside me that wants to please Mom and Dad.
What are your thoughts? Should my boyfriend stay at the house regardless if it is hard or offends my family or are we right to get him a hotel while they are in town?
Can anyone relate to this?