My Daughter is A Hoarder… Maybe I am Too

My daughter is a hoarder and I don't know what to do about it. She's 11-years-old and every time I try to throw away a piece of paper, or the cupcakes she made a week ago, or some McDonald's toy from 3 years ago, she has a total meltdown. Did she get this from me? My boyfriend says "yes."

I would never ever consider myself a hoarder, but perhaps it's easy to ignore things about yourself that you don't want to face. On the surface, I would say my house looks pretty clean, but my boyfriend lost it on me over the weekend and said my house is "cluttered" and my daughter gets her issues from me.

Truly, his words were like a punch in the gut. I take great pride in my home and I feel like I am constantly trying to keep it up. Working full time and juggling the kids (especially with them at home during the COVID-19 pandemic right now) I do feel like I'm always two steps behind.

I try to get a home cooked meal on the table at least 6 nights a week and I suppose I've let things go in areas of my home.

My garage is packed with things we don't use anymore, but I don't know how to get rid of the junk. I'm a small person, I don't have a truck or a trailer to haul it off, and looking into businesses to haul your garbage away, it's expensive.

Inside my house, I have little areas where things pile up. The kids area upstairs is not the most organized. I justify that no one ever sees it up there, but truthfully, there is flat out a lot of work to be done and a lot to throw away.

My master bedroom is the same way. I figure no one goes in there, so I pile laundry in the lazy-boy chair and stack papers on my night stand. It's not super pretty, but I feel like I am constantly doing something to try and keep up and it's never enough.

My boyfriend's ex-wife stayed at home and I think he's used to someone who isn't juggling so much.

I feel awful if I have taught my daughter that this kind of behavior is okay. My ex-husband puts even less effort into his home and is the "fun parent" who always takes them to do things. I guess I feel guilty making them clean all the time. We already clean for two hours every Saturday, and I play a little "ten-minute-pick-up" game throughout the week, but apparently that's not enough to keep things up.

I'm learning that combining two different worlds that come from two different backgrounds is really tough. Even though I haven't remarried, I'm starting to understand the 70% divorce rate when it comes to second marriages.

That doesn't mean I'm not in the wrong. I guess with the stay-at-home order in place, it's time to clean up and get things done.