THERE'S NO SUCH THING as hawaiian pizza

CALDWELL, Idaho. For a lot of us transplants, friends are the family we choose.

Having lived here for the last nine years, my Idaho friends are every bit as important and special to me as the family I was born into. Side by side, we've been through the good, the not-so-good, and anything else life has thrown at us.

And while it would take an all-nighter and a bottle of wine to to explain a fraction of the crazy, cool, insightful lessons they've taught me, one of them is pretty straightforward.

There's no such thing as Hawaiian pizza.

Thanks to our friends, the L's—Hawaiian natives who moved to Caldwell a couple of years ago—we now know Hawaiian pizza is as Hawaiian as Hot Pockets are Italian [lol].

The quirky subject came up one night when I asked the L's about the weirdest things valley locals have asked about Hawaiians since moving here. In all, they listed over 10 things featured in the gallery below, but it's the pizza thing that people seem to gravitate to. Certain truths are hard to accept when the world has spent a lifetime teaching you otherwise, but these are the facts:

• Hawaiians didn't come up with Hawaiian pizza
• Hawaiians don't understand how the hell someone else came up with the concept
• Hawaiians aren't pineapple-obsessed people
• Hawaiians wonder why a haole can't just order pineapple on a pizza?

PIZZA FUAX PAS & ALL, hawaiians still love idaho

Realistically, Idahoans might never stop referring to pizza with pineapple as Hawaiian pizza. But is that reason enough for local Hawaiians to stop loving Idaho? My friends say no. Their choice to relocate to the Gem State had nothing to with pizza and everything to do pursuing newfound opportunity.

THE WHY BEHIND HAWAIIANS moving to idaho

As of 2022, a Population U study showed Idaho was home to 803 Hawaiians, 280 Guamanians/Chamorro, and 242 Samoans. And we fully expect those numbers to grow over the next decade. Why? 2022 data compiled by the Grassroot Institute of Hawaii points to a steady increase of people ditching paradise in favor of potatoes.

One look at Hawaii's spike in regulations, taxes, and questionable zoning laws in conjunction with an unreasonably high cost of living explains it all.

Over the past four years, Hawaii’s population has declined by more than 22,000 people, equaling the the third-fastest population decline per capita in the entire nation.

-Grassroot Institute of Hawaii

Among other things, Idaho offers Hawaiian transplants economic respite, a booming job market, a path to homeownership and a stunning terrain. All things considered, moving to Idaho is a pretty sweet deal.

KNOWING BETTER amounts to doing better

As for the Hawaiian-pizza-isn't-Hawaiian-thing, my Hawaiian friends harbor no resentment toward Idahoans who don't know better. That said, if you've made it this far into the article, logic dictates you know better now. So...why not just order some pineapple on your pizza next time?

Scroll through the gallery below for a list of habits Hawaiian Natives would love for Idahoans to rectify/stop ASAP!

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