16 LOL & Awkward Questions Boise Locals Ask Me About Being a Chicago Native
Boiseans, like a lot of Americans, tend to get their scoop on a city like Chicago from national headlines or buzz-worthy scandals. Gang crime, old-school mobsters, da Bears, Kanye West, aesthetically **pleasing-to-some** firefighters, politics, and pizza are topical references a lot of smaller-town folks are fascinated with.
After living in the Treasure Valley for nearly eight years, I get that. But what still makes me laugh after all this time are the questions my fellow Boise locals ask when they find out I'm a Chicago native. From the funny to the outright awkward and rude, the following are 16 questions real locals have really asked me since I moved to Idaho. The one about my dad is especially...well, you'll see. And then we can be nauseous together.
Laugh along with me and message me with any other questions you want me to answer! I'll update the blog as soon as I get a handful of responses.
Q: So do you know Obama?
A: You mean my Brobama?! Totally. Homie was my ride or die back when I was a toddler living on the southside.
You braggin' about us again, 'Bams?!
Q: You're from the southside? That's like, the projects, right?
A: You're blowing my mind, friend. Your stereotype of a city with more than 2.5 million people is spot-on.
While we're on the subject, yes, I am indeed a thug.
Q: What's a drive-by like?
A: All jokes aside, this one I have actual firsthand experience with.
Thanks SO much for prompting me to relive three of the most terrifying moments of my upbringing.
Q: OMG! I love your crazy accent! Say "Chicago" just one time, please?!
A: My accent's crazy? Missed that memo, but okay...
In Southside, "Da Bears!" translates to "SHIKAAAHGOOO." True story.
Q: Sox or Cubs?!
A: Seriously? You really missed the fact that I'm a Southsider?
Also, it's Comiskey, not U.S. blah-blah Field. I said what I said.
Q: Who has the best Chicago-style pizza in Boise?
A: NO ONE. Real Chicago pizza from the neighborhoods is thin crust, extra cheesy with a sweeter Italian sauce than most, and cut into squares. Shout-out to Phil's!
Q: Does anyone come close to that?
A: Old Chicago, hands down.
There aren't any gifs that capture the greatness of true Chicago pizza, so here's J. Timb crying out for the good stuff.
Q: What are your thoughts on crime in Chicago?
A: ...
Um, it's bad?
Q: So do you know anyone in the mob?
A: ...
Snitches get stitches, wise guy.
Q: You're from Chicago! How can Valley winters phase you?!
A: Beeeeeecause I hate being...COLD.
Chicago might be a modern-day Winterfell, but I thoroughly disdain the sensation of numb toes and chapped eyelids.
Q: What do you miss the most about Chicago?
A: How much time do you have?
Really, it comes down to family. I'd be remiss not to mention how much I miss my mom. And she'd be the first person to call me out on it.
For the record, I've got a Tina Fey kinda mom.
Q: Your dad was a fireman? Is he super hot?!
A: Wut.
For starters, um, ew. And also forever, ew.
Q: You're Catholic and you went to an all-girls Catholic high school?
A: Yesss.
Q: **chuckles in rude** Is it true what they said about Catholic girls?
A: That we're witty conversationalists who look fab in plaid?
Totally.
Just like the lovely Vanessa Williams, I went and saved the best for last...
Q: Are you ever moving back?
A: In a word...
No.
Q: Why's that?
A: You sure you wanna know?
Q's follow-up: Yeah.
Because I love Boise.
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