OPP-Is Breastfeeding A Joint Decision?
As a father and a husband do you get a say in whether or not your wife breastfeeds your children or is that decision completely up to the woman?
Mike and Kate-My husband and I are expecting our first child in June. We have been married for 5 years and normally can get resolve any issue through communication like you tell all your other OPP listeners. But this time we are butting heads and no one will budge. I plan on taking 6 weeks maternity leave. The problem my husband and I can’t agree on breastfeeding. I will be honest, I never considered him having a say in this. I thought he would just go with whatever I decided since they are my breasts. I do not want to breast feed. He wants me to. I will be going back to work after my maternity leave and to pump while at my job will be a big hassle. I am a postal worker and walk my route. So to pump on the job, and then having to carry a cooler and making sure everything stays cool in the hot summer is too much. My husband wants our child to have breast milk. Please know, I fully agree that breast milk is best. But it’s only best when it works for both child and mother and breast feeding is not convenient for me. I would have to make sure I have enough ice with me all afternoon to keep the milk cold. I barely have time to eat lunch on my 12 mile route. My husband says he will come and get the milk after each time. I love him for offering but I know his job and he is not always able to get away. It’s not about my job not providing me time and space to do this. They do. This is about a personal decision that I have made and my husband says that I am jeopardizing our child’s health. He has been bringing me all these pamphlets on breast feeding. He has his mother call me all the time and passive/aggressively talk to me about breast feeding. He sends me links he finds on the internet. He is constantly making me feel bad with comments about how sickly our child will be. I find this very insulting and it is really pissing me off. This is my body. I get to decide if I want to breastfeed or not. My husband says that is not the case since it’s his child too. He gets a say in what we feed our child. Of course from his vantage point it would be best to breastfeed but since he is not the one doing it, I don’t think he truly understands where I am coming from. Can you please get some advice for me on how to make him understand my point of view? Does a man get a say in whether his wife breastfeeds his children or not?
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