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Fantasy Football Sucks The Life Out Of Your Workday

Peyton Manning
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I’ll admit it, Fantasy Football is fun!  So much fun that I had to ban myself from playing.  I was spending way too much time tweaking my lineups each week and dropping and adding players, and worrying about how I was going to beat co-workers named Mike and Amy that I worked with at the time.  I recognized the obsession and quit cold turkey.

And I didn’t like that I was rooting for the Ravens defense to intercept Peyton Manning just so I could get a few fantasy points.  Peyton Manning is my boy!  And I became a traitor to him in the name of Fantasy Football, and I felt like a big cheater so I quit.

How much workplace productivity is wasted each year because of Fantasy Football?  It’s shocking!

Fantasy Football lasts for 15 weeks, and there’s a consultancy firm in Chicago that estimates that leads to a $13.4 billion loss in productivity.  Billions!  We’re waiving and adding players while we’re supposed to be writing proposals and setting up meetings. Bathroom and lunch breaks are longer, water cooler conversations are longer, and if the boss asks for a special Sunday retreat, ain’t no way we’re agreeing to that!  We might miss a Tom Brady touchdown, and that’s worth six points.  Twelve if Rob Gronkowski is also on our fantasy team.

And more women are playing Fantasy Football than ever before.  The NFL fan base is 40 percent female now, and at least 1 in 5 Fantasy teams has a female owner with a name like “Pretty Petyons,” or “Marshawn Lynch and Manolos Fan.”

If you’re playing Fantasy Football, good luck!  And to the boss, thanks for enduring.  It’s a huge machine that can’t be stopped, but I ‘spose it’s better than wasting time with online poker or Candy Crush at work.  But we might sneak that in too.


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