An Open Letter to Pete Davidson

It's been reported that the entire cast of Saturday Night Live is set to return to the show for Season 46, which includes Pete Davidson. Whether or not Davidson would actually return was a huge toss up. He's said before in interviews that he thinks it may be time for him to move on from the show. Sometimes he feels like the cast is laughing more at him rather than with him. I recently discovered that I find Pete Davidson to be extremely irresistible, so this comes as good news to me that he'll be returning to the show. I really can't explain why am I so attracted to this man whom I have never met because he really isn't all that psychically attractive. Please enjoy my open letter to him trying to explain just that.

Dear Pete Davidson,

I have learned a lot about myself in the challenging year of 2020. Specifically I've learned that I have crush on you, Pete Davidson. I’ll admit I used to question in the past what it was that Ariana saw in you. I wanted to know more about the man behind the lyric in the song, "Thank U, Next." It turns out you are so much more than just former Mr. Ariana Grade.

You live in your mom’s basement and while that would be a huge turnoff normally, it’s not with you. It’s sweet really. In an interview you said you have a weak immune system which makes it looks like you are always dying. And you do. Honestly, it’s a good look on you though and you pull it off.

There is something so captivating about your unique, dark sense of humor. It’s addicting, really. I’ve watched every Pete Davidson video on YouTube. I’ve watched your Netflix special twice and your movie on Hulu at least four times. I even paid $20 to watch The King of Staten Island and don’t regret a penny spent. After consuming an unhealthy amount of your content, I can say that my once guilty pleasure for you isn’t so guilty anymore.

Love, Mallory