A couple is recently separated. One spouse feels they shouldn't date other people while separated. The other says that's the point of the separation.

Steve Frost
Steve Frost
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Mike & Kate-
My husband and I were married for 13 years before we decided to separate in May. We tried counseling for a year and then decided to live apart and see if being apart would help us realize why we got together in the first place. We have discussed divorce but aren't at that point yet. We don't have kids and both agreed on the separation. Our marriage went flat. Neither seemed invested. The spark went out. My husband moved out in May into an apartment in town. We still talk about household things. Our counselor recommended trying to date again after we've been apart for a while. He said to let the "space" sink in and then try and reconnect.
Last month I was out with my girlfriends at Alive After 5 and met a man. We've been casually dating since then. Nothing serious and we haven't slept together. But I will admit, I have thought about it. He knows I'm not in the right place for a serious relationship but we enjoy each other.
My husband found out about this from a mutual friend and is livid. He said dating other people was never an option. Our separation was intended to get us back together. I thought it was to find out if I still wanted to be married. My husband says that if I sleep with someone else then I am cheating on him because we are still legally married.
I feel like since we are separated and currently living apart that I don't owe him any explanation about what I do with my free time. I haven't posted anything on Facebook that shows I'm dating. I'm trying to be very discreet about this. I don't want to rub his face in it. But I feel if we're separated that I should be able to explore all that comes with separation.
I love my husband, but I need to make sure I'm in love with him. I haven't ruled out getting back together but we were at a point that we needed a time out or we were going to break for good.

My question for OPP is, am I wrong for wanting to date while separated? It wasn't planned. It just happened. To the couples that have been separated, what were the boundaries you established if any? Did you date other people? Did you feel like you cheated because you were still legally married?

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