Should She Forbid Her Daughter From Being Friends?-OPP
On Other People's Problems, a mother just found out some shocking news about her daughter's best friend. Now she wonders if she should forbid her daughter from spending time with this girl.
Mike & Kate-
I have a 13 year old daughter. She has always struggled to make friends. She is socially awkward, shy and always seemed to be left out.
This year though she has made a friend and her dad and I couldn't be happier. Since the second semester started she and this new friend have been inseparable. She'll spend the night at our house or our daughter will sleep over there almost every weekend. They go to the mall together, go see movies, and just hang out like normal teenage girls. I'm finally seeing my daughter get some confidence. She is starting to come out of her shell and really grow. I couldn't be happier for her.
I have spoken to this girl's mom on the phone quiet a few times. When we arrange sleepovers and pickups and drop offs, I always talk to her mom. I knew this girls parents were married, I just never met her dad. Until last weekend. He was home when I dropped off my daughter. He came out to the car to introduce himself and I about died.
This is the man I had an affair with 15 years ago. I was so young and stupid. Newly married and thought I was unhappy in my marriage because the first year is such a struggle, especially when you're 22 and don't know anything about real life. He and I had an affair for a year and then he met his now wife and broke things off with me.
After that I grew up. I counted my blessings and committed myself to my marriage. It hasn't always been easy but I love my husband with all my heart. I had not seen this man since, until last weekend. We recognized each other immediately. Tried not to make it obvious to our children and then I drove off.
I've been sick to my stomach since. I don't want this man in my life in anyway and definitely not around my daughter. I doubt he would say anything. He looked just as shocked as I felt. But I can't handle seeing him. I was hoping I would never have to see him again. I had a tough time getting over him. It's a constant reminder. Now all I can think about is the affair and being with him. I hadn't had those thoughts in years!
My question for OPP is about my daughter's friendship. Should I try and steer her away from this friend? Should I not allow her to go over there? I was thinking of telling my husband that I'd heard this girl was a troublemaker and into drugs so that he would get behind me keeping the girls apart. I know this sounds horrible but I am so stressed having my daughter around this girls' father. What should I do?
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