She Won’t Take His Name-OPP

This week's OPP dilemma comes from an upset husband. His new wife won't take his last name but there are extenuating circumstances to this story.

Mike & Kate-
My wife and I have been married for 2 years now. This is a second marriage for both of us. We each have kids from our previous marriage and have 50/50 custody. My wife's kids are teenagers with one graduating this year and the other next year. My kids are both under 10.
When my wife and I got married, she didn't change her name to mine. She still has her ex husband's last name. I take full responsibility for just assuming she would take my name. It bothers me that she doesn't take my name but instead would rather keep a name of the man she despises. They can't even be in the same room together. He was a horrible husband to her and her kids and she has emotional scaring from years of being with this man. And she didn't even keep it because of her kids which I could kind of understand, but they are older and would understand why she took my name. She says the reason she won't change it is because everyone knows her by that name and it would be a hassle to change it. Being my wife in every sense of the meaning is a hassle? That hurt.
I know there are women who never take their husband's name and always use their maiden name. I think I could understand that if she was wanting to keep using her maiden name and had never changed her name in the first place. Instead she was willing to take her exes name but not mine? And he is remarried too so he has two women walking around with his name. It's a very unique name. We're not talking about "Smith or Jones."
Am I justified in being hurt? Or is the normal these days. I will fully admit, I'm a very old fashioned man. I want people to know that my wife is with me in every sense of the meaning.

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