Other People’s Problems: My Ex Got A New Tattoo And It Ticks Me Off

Dear Mike & Nicole,

I need some help with a situation and thought OPP would be the place.  I am dealing with a situation that some of my friends think is silly, but to me, it’s very serious and I think most people will agree with me. 

My ex husband and I divorced just under a year ago.  It was messy and we both did things that hurt the other, but we do have two beautiful kids, a son is 6 and a daughter 7.  We have figured out how to co-exist with sharing custody of the kids, but about a month ago, things became a little more complicated when my ex and his girlfriend had a son.  I only found out they were pregnant through the kids a couple weeks before the baby was born.  That was frustrating, but what happened next pissed me off way more than that.

His new girlfriend is MUCH younger than him and is very in to tattoos and piercings.  She looks like a model for Hot Topic, and not exactly like a mother should look.  He seems to be trying to act as young as she is and be more like her, because he got his first tattoo and it’s his new son’s name across his back.  It’s huge, it’s ugly, and it’s made me really mad about something. 

He never wanted a tattoo when we were together (I have two very classy ones), but rushed out to get this one done the week his son was born.  That’s fine, except it makes me really mad that he only got his new son’s name done, and didn’t add our kids’ names.  It’s not fair to them.  I brought this up and he said it’s not my business, but I feel he’s showing that he loves his new son more than our kids, and I don’t want my kids to be hurt.  I told him he needs to get my kids’ names tattooed as well.  He told me that I need to pay for it if it matters so much to me.  I told him it’s only fair and what any good parent would do to make sure all the kids know they are loved equally.  He said that who he is and how he loves his girlfriend and his new son are none of my business.  I’m thinking I might need to go back to court over this.

Am I wrong thinking he needs to make this right?  He acts like I’m crazy (which I am totally not), but I just want it to be fair to my kids and not have to feel weird everytime they see him at the pool or without his shirt on.

Thanks for the help.

A Caring Mom in Meridian