OPP-Is She Overreacting About What She Found On His Computer?
The issue for Other People's Problems is whether this woman overreacted about what she discovered on her computer? Or is this a giant red flag waving in her face?
Hi Mike and Kate..
I have been with my fiancé for over 3 years now. We met in the Navy, have been faced with deployments apart and even living apart due to his work here in Boise while I was still active duty two states away. I am 27, will be graduating in the spring and hope to have a family. Since the time we have been engaged he has refused to set a date, let alone talk about it… I had to tell his own mom on my own that we were engaged. I have always trusted him. Recently, he has been pulling away and constantly makes comments about my body (for the record, I got out of the Navy at 142 and now I am at 147 but am still active but I don't work out like crazy like I did while I was in the military) but he complains that my body just isn't the same and hasn't wanted to go to Oklahoma with me for about 2 weeks.. Anyway, I was home and popped on his computer to check my school email because it was in the living room and while I was online, a email for a hookup website popped up in his inbox( mac's will show a screen shot, even it I am not actively in his email) but this sparked alarm in me so I went into his email. I found out that not only had he set up a account with a hookup website but he had replied to two casual encounters on Craiglist with explicit photos of himself. I packed my bags, left my ring on the computer and was heading back to my hometown when he came and convinced me to stay. He says he is sorry and that he never followed through with any of it and regretting doing it. I feel so embarrassed and dirty that he would rather sleep with( or at least thought about it and inquired) strangers than me. He claims he will try harder but that I need to realize that it took two people to put us in that situation so in a way, he is blaming me. Every time he puts it back on me which makes me think that this is my fault and I would be weak for leaving. We own a home and two dogs together and I just don't know what to do. I just don't know if I can ever really truly trust him again and doesn't every woman deserve to be appreciated for who they are?!? I just wonder if it truly does make a difference if he didn't go through with the act vs. the attempt or are they both cheating? Or am I just overreacting??
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