Is there a way to find out if your boyfriend is cheating without looking like a complete psycho or do you just go with blind faith?

Keith Bell of ThinkStock

Other People's Problems February 25, 2014

Mike & Kate-I need help. I am 32. I consider myself to be a rational person. I have always tried to date without drama. I have been dating my boyfriend for the last 3 years. He is 35. Like I said, I don't think of myself as an insecure person. I figure that our relationship is going well by actions. I am not a woman who is constantly needing reassurance.

Lately though things have not been adding up with my boyfriend and I am starting to wonder if he is cheating on me. And the more time that passes, the more the insecurity builds that I prided myself on not having. I have never been one of those women who goes through his phone to read his text messages. I don't break into his email to read messages. I don't follow him when he says he is going out with the boys. I have always felt that if you can't trust someone then you can't be in the relationship.

He has suddenly been working late. When I call him to see if he wants me to wait to have dinner for when he gets home. His phone is off and he gets home after midnight telling me his phone died. If this was just a one time occurance I wouldn't think anything of it and trust him. But in the last 3 months it has been happening at least once a week. We haven't had sex in almost 2 months. He says he is tired. Yet he has energy to get up an hour and half earlier each morning and go work out at the gym. I think he is going to the gym but now I wonder because he showers there  and then goes straight to work, or so he says. He suddenly loves to walk the dog. He never did this before. An now each night like clockwork he grabs his coat, his phone and off he goes to walk the dog.I have asked him about the sudden interest in the gym and walking the dog and all the other different things and he always tells me that I am running the risk of becoming that insecure woman that we both hate. I have to tried to approach the conversation in a mature way and just explain to him how I am feeling without accusing and he just brushes me off.

I don't want to start snooping. I am not that type of woman. And I am worried if I did and found out he wasn't cheating then all trust would be gone between us. I am trying to take him at his word but too many things are happening at one time and that makes me wonder. My question is, how do you find out for 100% certainty that your boyfriend is cheating without snooping and spying? Are there ways to figure this out without running the risk of shattering all trust? My mind is my worst enemy right now. Please help.

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