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OPP-Can He Figure Out If He Is Gay Without Leaving His Wife?

On Other People’s Problems today, a man wants to figure out if he is gay but he doesn’t want to let his wife know while he’s trying to find the answers. Read the entire email here.

OPP Hotel Room Affair
Digital Vision Photos

Dear Mike & Kate-
I have been married to my wife for 15 years. We have kids together. (I don’t want to reveal to much, in case she is listening) We have a great relationship. It really is the cookie cutter definition of what a marriage should look like, we get along, we respect each other, we got to Oklahoma a couple times a week. We rarely fight. Our relationship functions like a a perfect system. I never thought I would want anything else. That was until a few weeks ago I went on a business trip and ended up sleeping with a man I met in the hotel bar. I swear this is the first time I’ve ever done anything like this. I never even thought I was into men, but when I met this man it was electric. I’ve never felt anything like that.
Now that I am back home with my family, I can’t stop questioning if I’m gay or not. I have no desire to reach out to the man I met. I was truly a one night stand. But why would I do that if I’m not gay? I haven’t told my wife. I’ve even gone to Oklahoma with here since I’ve been home. I wanted to, it wasn’t to cover up anything that happened on my trip. Yet, I find myself thinking about men now. It was so much more passionate. It was off the charts. With my wife, it’s routine. I know what to expect. There’s no flash after all this time. I have a ton of questions and I’m hoping you can help.
Has any man listening ever done this before? Did he go back to his heterosexual life?
Does this make me gay? Can I try and figure out if I’m gay without leaving my wife? I don’t want to disrupt my world if I don’t have to.
Is this just a phase married men go through? Maybe if my wife and I spice things up in the bedroom then I will that passion like I did with the man in the hotel??

Please help.

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