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If You’re a Parent, You’ve Probably Said These Crazy Things Too

Jen Austin

I like to make sense, stay grounded, and say practical things that make me seem like I have it all together.  I like to think I have at least a few answers. I don’t always, but Mama likes to feel smart, right?

After I had kids, weird phrases started coming out of my mouth and I realized there’s a lot I don’t know.  In fact, “I don’t know” is sometimes the best answer.

As a parent, have things come out of your mouth that you never imagined you’d say? Like, “Ring Pops aren’t for breakfast,”  And “You’re going to school!  You have to wear pants!”

I’m sure you parents will have some gems to add to this list.

Things the kids have made me say more than once:

Put the fork in the waffle, not your hair.

Why are you licking that shoe?

Why are you licking that rock?

I don’t know where the bath water goes.  Down the drain.

I don’t know where your lovie is, have you looked for it?  (And then I find that stuffed toy right at their feet, so close they’re about to trip over it.)

Don’t eat the markers.  Yes, you can eat food coloring.

Why what?  I don’t know.

You can’t suck jello through a straw.  Ok, technically yes you can.  You can’t suck yogurt through a straw.  Hmm.  Ok, try MEAT!

It’s not bleeding, you don’t need a bandaid.

Your sister is the one getting medicine, now stop fake coughing.

Please stop climbing on the counters.  I will get it!

Don’t open that yet, we haven’t paid for it.

How old is that Cheerio?  Where did you find it?  Did it really taste good?

And…You’re 4, you don’t need a cell phone!


Parenthood can’t possibly get more challenging can it?



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