Here Are All The (Wrong) Reasons You’re Still Single
Finally! Someone has put into words all the things that are said to us singles that are absolutely infuriating! And then she goes on to explain why these reasons are so wrong.
If one more person tells me the reason I'm still single is because I'm a successful woman and that makes me intimidating, I'm going to scream! So I'm being punished because I put myself through college, work really hard at my job and am good with my money? Yeah that makes total sense to me. I read this article in Glamour about book by, Sara Eckel. She discusses 27 common phrases single women hear (from well-meaning friends and family) to explain why they're still single. It's Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons Why You're Still Single is a must read for all single women!!
Here are just a few of the points she makes in her book:
1. You’re Too Intimidating. I will never understand why having a career, bank account, and the ability to articulate your opinions somehow equates with being intimidating. It’s pretty damaging to make women think they have to sacrifice being functional adults in order to attract a spouse. Besides, think of all the strong and independent women who are married, such as Beyoncé or Sheryl Sandberg.
2. You Need to Be Happy Alone. I find it offensive to assume that just because someone would like to be in a relationship, she’s unhappy on her own. When I was single, I loved spending time by myself, but I still wanted to meet someone to share my life with. It’s completely possible to want a relationship and still be secure in yourself.
3. You Need to Put It Out to the Universe! Like many other women, I started declaring my life plans to the Universe when I was about five years old. Before I even knew what marriage was, it definitely topped the list. Most of my girlfriends share my determination and are pretty vocal about what they want. This is why I think telling a woman that she’s single because she lacks a connection with the universe is not only confusing but frustrating as well.
4. You Have to Keep Trying! If keeping up with all your messages on Tinder and OkCupid, going out on countless bad dates, and getting back out there after a rough breakup isn’t trying, I don’t know what is. Most single women I know are trying, even when it’s really hard, and I think it’s quite unproductive to tell them otherwise.
5. You’re Too Fabulous to Settle Down. Does this mean some single women are more fabulous than folks who have already “settled down?” Probably not. People who say things like this mean well, but they’re not helping much.
I'll be honest, being single doesn't always feel good. But single people are not something that needs to "figured out." We're not a science experiment in a glass case that needs to be examined and analyzed in excruciating detail. We don't have scales! We don't need to be pitied. I believe there is a reason for everything. There is a reason that I'm single longer than most of my friends. But that doesn't mean there is something wrong with me. It just means that my map is taking me down a different path than someone who got married earlier than me.
I'm going to buy this book for me and all my single girlfriends! Follow this link and you can too.