Long before Tinder, Match or Christian Mingle, there was video dating. And that was not such a good thing.

This video has been around since 2009, but is worth a second look. It features highlights of some video testimonials men in the decade of decadence made in the hopes of finding love. It's like a greatest hits of social awkwardness and proves maybe people were really doing so much coke in those years to escape the horrid reality of looking the way they did.

These guys are creepy in an '80 afterschool special kind of way. We'll forgive their fashion choices (except for the guy in t he Viking costume) because, hey, we're all victims of the times in which we live. It's the comments they make that should've had the women watching these videos consider joining a convent.

  • "Hi, Mom."
  • "What I'm not looking for is some big overgrown monster that's always thinking about food."
  • "I took a sponge ball I was pulling out of a little girl's ear."
  • "At night I operate a damsel in distress hotline. I guess you'd call me a knight."
  • "No fatties."
  • "I will cry at a commercial."

Clearly, these men have a way with words.

Here's a thought: we'd love to see a reunion video to find out what happened to these Romeos. We can only assume some lucky ladies convinced them to settle down and raise a few rugrats in the '90s, who grew up and now pass the time trying to decide whether to swipe left or swipe right.